Feeling a little blue today- kind of lonely, missing friends and family. I thought it would be a good idea to look back on times that were difficult that brought me where I am today. All in an effort to praise God joyfully despite the way I'm feeling today. Pregnancy emotions starting to hit more often these days. I cried after seeing a proposal on the news this morning, I've cried thinking about how scared I am to give birth, I've cried after listening to a song by Matt Hammitt about his son. Sheesh! :)
Since the day I quit my job at the Village, I have been on a journey to get back to "my self." I don't remember at what moment I began to spiral downward, but I do know it was at some point during our first year of marriage (also the year I began working at the Village). All of my "monsters" came to the surface- jealousy, uncertainty, extra sensitivity, etc. and I wasn't very good about dealing with these ugly things.
I remember there was one blow after another while working at the Village. What started as my desire to be an example to teens, eventually became a nightmare. I dreaded each day I had to go into work, but realized I was lucky to even have a job and a job where I could make use of my degree. I knew despite how miserable I was at times, God was still making use of me in this place. My prayer was (and still is) that at least one person I worked with benefited positively from my time spent serving at the Village.
This work place became more and more dangerous as I stayed the course. However, Brent and I knew we wanted to begin trying to get pregnant. The problem- I was extremely stressed at work and I feared the many things that could have happened had we gotten pregnant while I still worked there. God's hand has been in our midst throughout the course that eventually led us where we are today. Brent's many sacrifices over the years-for me, for the sake of our family, for the sake of our daughter, for the sake of me having an opportunity to stay home with our children one day, and I could keep going. He has endured complete exhaustion as he worked four jobs before starting grad school, completed grad school while working full time, and remained a husband I could count on in the midst of a time in need.
I began my new job at the tanning salon in September last year. From there I began remembering how nice it was to feel utter joy. I was laughing more often and despite the fact it wasn't necessarily the job I wanted, it was a stepping stone in our lives. I was able to relax and enjoy the time I had around people. Even though I worked late nights, Brent and I were able to work through the difficulties that came with that responsibility. At the end of October, we found out we were pregnant. Not too long after we found out God was blessing our family with a baby, we found out Brent had a job offer. Now we live in Memphis and have a baby girl due next month.
I have had so much fun with my husband in this period of our lives. There are times Brent will mention it's been a while since he's heard me laugh the way I do. I tell him it's because I am truly happy. There are times it's more difficult than others, but all in all I have my God, my man, and my baby girl with me. I get to teach Ella all about Jesus and how much He loves her, all about high heels, all about how hysterical her Daddy is, and I get to teach her all about life alongside Brent. :) How great is our God.
From David's song of praise -Psalm 30:11-12
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
Since the day I quit my job at the Village, I have been on a journey to get back to "my self." I don't remember at what moment I began to spiral downward, but I do know it was at some point during our first year of marriage (also the year I began working at the Village). All of my "monsters" came to the surface- jealousy, uncertainty, extra sensitivity, etc. and I wasn't very good about dealing with these ugly things.
I remember there was one blow after another while working at the Village. What started as my desire to be an example to teens, eventually became a nightmare. I dreaded each day I had to go into work, but realized I was lucky to even have a job and a job where I could make use of my degree. I knew despite how miserable I was at times, God was still making use of me in this place. My prayer was (and still is) that at least one person I worked with benefited positively from my time spent serving at the Village.
This work place became more and more dangerous as I stayed the course. However, Brent and I knew we wanted to begin trying to get pregnant. The problem- I was extremely stressed at work and I feared the many things that could have happened had we gotten pregnant while I still worked there. God's hand has been in our midst throughout the course that eventually led us where we are today. Brent's many sacrifices over the years-for me, for the sake of our family, for the sake of our daughter, for the sake of me having an opportunity to stay home with our children one day, and I could keep going. He has endured complete exhaustion as he worked four jobs before starting grad school, completed grad school while working full time, and remained a husband I could count on in the midst of a time in need.
I began my new job at the tanning salon in September last year. From there I began remembering how nice it was to feel utter joy. I was laughing more often and despite the fact it wasn't necessarily the job I wanted, it was a stepping stone in our lives. I was able to relax and enjoy the time I had around people. Even though I worked late nights, Brent and I were able to work through the difficulties that came with that responsibility. At the end of October, we found out we were pregnant. Not too long after we found out God was blessing our family with a baby, we found out Brent had a job offer. Now we live in Memphis and have a baby girl due next month.
I have had so much fun with my husband in this period of our lives. There are times Brent will mention it's been a while since he's heard me laugh the way I do. I tell him it's because I am truly happy. There are times it's more difficult than others, but all in all I have my God, my man, and my baby girl with me. I get to teach Ella all about Jesus and how much He loves her, all about high heels, all about how hysterical her Daddy is, and I get to teach her all about life alongside Brent. :) How great is our God.
From David's song of praise -Psalm 30:11-12
You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise you forever.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete