I’ve always been captivated by each and every birth story I’ve heard or read. I still cannot get over how perfectly God made our bodies to carry, deliver, and feed our children. I don’t ever want to forget the details or emotions that came with our story. If you’re interested in the details of how Ella Rose joined us, then read on. Brent and I took a 7-week child birthing class at the hospital in order to prepare for our upcoming labor and delivery. Although we had a better idea of what to expect, there’s really no possible way to fully prepare for such a life-altering event. I kept going back and forth as to whether or not I wanted to deliver naturally or go with an epidural. I decided to take a Mind Over Body class in case I decided to deliver Ella naturally or in the event I couldn’t have an epidural. As the day drew nearer, I felt more and more compelled to deliver naturally. Brent was supportive of me wither way, and didn’t want me to feel like a failure even if I ended up getting...

Feeling a little blue today- kind of lonely, missing friends and family. I thought it would be a good idea to look back on times that were difficult that brought me where I am today. All in an effort to praise God joyfully despite the way I'm feeling today. Pregnancy emotions starting to hit more often these days. I cried after seeing a proposal on the news this morning, I've cried thinking about how scared I am to give birth, I've cried after listening to a song by Matt Hammitt about his son. Sheesh! :)   Since the day I quit my job at the Village, I have been on a journey to get back to "my self." I don't remember at what moment I began to spiral downward, but I do know it was at some point during our first year of marriage (also the year I began working at the Village). All of my "monsters" came to the surface- jealousy, uncertainty, extra sensitivity, etc. and I wasn't very good about dealing with these ugly things.   I remember there w...

Growing up, I always wanted to be noticed or recognized. I longed for my peers, teachers, and family to look up to me and be proud of me. One of my desires was to become Homecoming Queen or Prom Queen during high school. (Silly as it sounds, I thought that being given one of these titles would somehow comfort me in a time of self doubt and insecurity.) I was the one who excelled in academics and participated in extracurricular activities. I didn't hide the fact I believed in Christ, and sometimes felt alone in those awkward moments of adolescence. I was often picked on and called the "goody-goody." I would come home in tears, asking why no one was interested in taking me on a date. In eighth grade, I was given the privilege of being on the Homecoming Court. It was lots of fun. I got to dress up, experience a bit of the limelight, receive a rose, and attend a football game free of charge. I didn't win queen that day, but being on the court was definitely an honor. I th...

It's been a while since I last posted and much has happened. We are in our apartment and it's slowly coming together. We finished unpacking the kitchen last week, and are now on the lookout for a baker's rack as we need some more storage space. Since coming to Memphis, it's been somewhat difficult in finding a job. I wanted to find a job so that I'd have something to keep myself occupied, meet people, and have a little more motivation in getting things done around the apartment. Alas, no one wants to hire a pregnant woman who wants to stay home with her baby after delivery. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to find something and should put my energy into settling the apartment and getting ready for Ella to arrive. There were a couple of weeks where I was having a hard time as we don't know many people around here. I've been praying for opportunities to meet people, but it's rather difficult. I'm coming to see that neighbors a...

My husband left this morning, and he's living in our new apartment. (I guess technically yesterday). He begins his new job on Monday. I'm still at our house, awaiting the movers arrival next week as they will be packing up our house and delivering all of our belongings to our new residence sometime before the 17th--haha. Up to this point, I've been much more calm than I expected. We've had so much to get accomplished in a short period of time, and somehow I've just accepted it and moved forward. You may wonder why this surprises me. Brent did the yard work, last bit of paperwork for his previous employer, phone calls back and forth with the moving company, sat with me at work Monday night, set up for a small going away get together, and so much more. I've written a lease agreement, caught up on laundry as we ended up selling our washer and dryer on Monday, worked my last three shifts at Fusion, and dishes. Also, Brent's dad has helped with so many of the...

I have a confession to make... more for myself than for those of you reading. I tend to worry more often than I should. My mind has such an imagination and runs wild with the worst case scenario. My worries often revolve around life changing events and people I care about. I remember when my parents divorced and I worried about what was going to happen to our family; when I was leaving for college, I was scared to leave my brother and sister behind because I didn't want them to make bad decisions (and somehow me being home would keep them from doing so...haha); when it was time to leave for week of excellence for traveling, I remember crying in my mom's arms because I didn't think I was capable of succeeding since I was the one who'd never been to church camp and the one who had the least amount of knowledge when it came to the Bible because I didn't grow up in the church; when I realized I had fallen for Brent, I remember calling a dear friend for support because I...

The date was October 29th... a few days before Brent had asked me if I thought I was pregnant. At the time he asked, I didn't think I could be pregnant. Brent went out of town for several interviews on Thursday and Friday and I began to wonder if I might be pregnant. I bought several tests and was overwhelmed when the first test came out positive. My eyes filled with tears... of joy, disbelief, and fear. I also wasn't sure how I was going to keep a secret for 12 more hours. Brent wasn't scheduled to get home until after midnight. I kept pondering all day how I wanted to tell him we were having a baby. When he came home, I told him that I had a gift for him and came around the corner with a bow on my belly. He didn't believe me at first. He kept asking, are you sure? Two tests later that same night, he was a bit more convinced. :) I am now 8 weeks and 3 days. We have our second ultrasound on Tuesday. So far it's been lots of nausea and the occasional sickness. As a...